We can move from people pleaser to advocate. We can get loud and still stay regulated. We can stand up for ourselves and others. If you have something to say but consistently find yourself ruminating over it rather than vocalizing it, you can get to a place where you share your thoughts freely.
Start singing and/or chanting regularly. When you do a simple chant, one syllable, one sound, held for your entire exhale and then repeat for ten to twenty minutes, your are practicing being loud. You are practicing taking up space and creating sound that is simultaneously calming your nervous system.
Typically, we associate loud vocalizations with anger or dysregulation of the nervous system. However, you can disrupt that circuitry and update your "operating system" (your brain) by chanting a powerful sound. You are telling your brain you can be calm and be loud and clear. You also get the benefits of repeating a new story to your brain, which is giving it a new set of orders. Instead of the old stories you have running through your mind, coloring every experience, you can now have a powerful, uplifting message overwriting that.
Some simple, powerful bij (seed) mantras and their physical placement:
AUM - Crown
OM - third eye
HAM - throat
YAM - heart
VAM - sacral
LAM - root
When you chant these, you can bring your "spotlight of attention" to the corresponding area of the body. You can also pay attention to the sensations of the vibrations you're creating in your chest, throat, nasal cavity. This awareness on internal sensations is interoception.
Another great one that focuses the vibrations on the nasal cavity:
ONG - infinite creativity is in you